Planet Earth Photgraphed In Shocking Threesome

Disturbing revelations of mother Earth indulging in sordid threesome with the moon brothers has been uncovered by scientists.

earth in sordid threesome with two moons

“It’s ok baby, everyone’s doing it.”

Until recently, it had been assumed that mother Earth was in a monogamous relationship with the moon. Scientists have now revealed the seemingly lady-like planet may well have been involved in group sex with the moon’s younger brother.

Dr Brian Omehead, of the University of California at Santa Cruz, is preparing to present his discovery to Royal Society. “I have irrefutable proof that the planet we adore was a secret harlot in your younger years. Is it any wonder we’re breeding like rabbits when we’re being influenced by a mother with such low moral values?”

The evidence came to light following detailed research on something to do with the solar system. Dr Omehead declined to give full details as to the exact nature of the research, saying only, “Look, the government gave me all that money and I can do what I want with it.”

According to leaked details, Earth and the moon were joined by a second suitor about 4.6 billion years ago. A brief, tempestuous relationship ensued following which the moon’s younger sibling disappeared leading to suspicions that moon elder became envious and absorbed his brother in a bizarre, cannibalistic ritual.

Although police have been notified they have stated that, at present, they will not be investigating. An anonymous police source said, “Should evidence of crime become apparent, we kind of hope that people will quickly forget about it so we can get on with eating pies and arresting old ladies for not paying their council tax.”

When confronted with the evidence, mother Earth declined to comment and was ushered away by waiting bodyguards.

A legal representative for the Earth issued the following statement: “Mother Earth can neither deny nor confirm this activity took place. The alleged event took place billions of years ago and, given the advanced age of our planet and the stress of deforestation and pollution, we can only ask that you allow her time to recover from the shock of this accusation. Mother Nature also wishes to state that she has never heard of the phrase, ‘menage a trois’.”

When reporters called at the Earth’s Kensington offices, sniggering staff declined to comment.

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